July 8, 2006 I'm reading The Married Man by Edmund White. This is a story between a HIV-infected 50's American writer and a bisexual married 30's French architect in Paris. I would like to know a true soul of a gay man rather than so much rumours about them in the media. I'm a bit heartbroken when I found Austin(American writer) is seropositive at the very first few pages. Does it foretell it's a sad story or is it a problem of mind to preasume the tragedy life of any HIV-bearing men? Am I just any of the majority to think about Gay? I will take this a chance to understand, to touch the souls of Gay men.
I have checked some information about Edmund White. I'm surprised to find that he's HIV positive too. Seems he's engaged with a guy. He's published his autography in 2006. If there is a chance, I would like to read this book too.
Jul 11, 2006 150 pages are read. I feel sad to find out that Julien, the 28-year-old French was infected with HIV, most likely from Austin. Julien is a kind of man with strong opinion. I think he's very honest. I felt sorry when he said he would get satisfaction to see the death of Peter (Austin ex bf) before his death came. Julien finally managed to go to Boston where Austin took up a post of university teacher though he seemed not popular among students. I was unhappy to see Austin had affair with stranger when Julien was on the way to live with him. And the relationship between he and Peter did make Julien to suffer in certain degree too. Peter was his ex bf but Austin treated him so well and spoiled him that Peter made confrontation with Julien. I felt sorry for Julien because he's experiencing Culture shocks, employment problem, HIV infection news, the just settlement of divorce. What Austin could expect this young man to behave properly? especially in the presence of Peter? How dare Austin to have thoughts like wishing haven't met Julien and having invited Julien to live with him in USA. I don't know what the story will lead to but Julien is losing himself. He has no job now. Just bought a puppy to accompany with. No mental support from Austin. The story is told by the view of Justin, but he's not THE MARRIED MAN. The bitterness reminds me movies like Bulgarian Lovers and Second Skins. I want to finish this book ASAP. This book, though getting heavy but it's quite fast page turning. I expect to read Focoult's Pendulum and a Japanese detective story (Mimic Criminal).
July 17, 2006. I finished this book a few days back. I felt sorry for Julien. He died before ARC(AIDS Related Condition) Peter. The detail description of ARC of Julien is very devastating and terrifying. Julien lied to Austin in certain ways, about his family. He was playful when he's very young. Who transmitted AIDS to him is still unknown. Christine didn't constracted AIDS should be a signal. Julien was right about Austin would meet another guy very immediate after his death. Austin was nice that he took intense care of the last days of Julien.
I really think we shouldn't blame Gay for spreading AIDS and AIDS didn't mean to be the punishment made by God to GAY. We all know how AIDS firstly appeared in human society - the hunting of Apes in Africa. It's Heterosexual men(I suppose) brought AIDS to the world and killing Gays. It's simple a new epidemic like those Black Disease Plaque happened before. I can't dame the Gay simply because they have different sexual preference. Life is hard and so much sufferrings that we like to make condemn to others. I do hope there will be a cure for AIDS.
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